Tashan Review

There’s a direct co-relation between the incoming calls that I receive on a Friday, with the status of a film. If it happens to be a low-budget fare with no curiosity attached to it, my phone remains silent most of the times, except for a few regulars who, anyways, will never stop calling.

But if the movie happens to be a big-budget extravaganza starring the high and mighty or is helmed by a top notch story teller, the cell phone rings incessantly. Last Friday onwards, right till the time of writing this piece, the phone hasn’t stopped ringing. Expectedly, the discussions were limited to TASHAN, just TASHAN, only TASHAN.

Everyone I spoke to is in a state of shock. What went wrong? Let’s analyze…

• Akshay Kumar – in top form after a string of hits.


• Saif Ali Khan – riding high after RACE.


• Kareena Kapoor – stronger than ever after JAB WE MET.


• Anil Kapoor – back with a bang, post WELCOME and RACE.


• Add to it the name that once guaranteed house full boards from Day 1 itself – Yash Raj. Yet, TASHAN failed to drive into the viewer’s heart.

I wouldn’t like to get into the plusses and minuses of the film [already highlighted in the review], so let’s talk business. That’s what everyone’s keen to know.

A leading North India distributor/exhibitor and I got into a discussion over the financial implications of its no-show at multiplexes. “Do you think Yash Raj would be affected by a Rs. 8-10 crore loss? It won’t pinch them one bit,” he opined.

Agreed, Yash Raj has made a fortune with a string of hits, but in this business [or any business for that matter], every penny counts. TASHAN has cost ‘x’ amount to make and whether you accept it or not, the no-show at multiplexes means that they’ve lost out on a good chunk of revenue. Had the film opened at the plexes, the losses would’ve been controlled/minimal.

But more than anything else, TASHAN has hit the credibility of Yash Raj hard. Last year, RGV faced a major crisis when RGV KI AAG was mauled, ridiculed and written off. I saw and heard similar negative talk doing the rounds of the industry for TASHAN.

Yash Raj’s last three films [JHOOM BARABAR JHOOM, LAAGA CHUNARI MEIN DAAG and AAJA NACHLE] were forgettable ventures. But TASHAN will not be erased from our memory. Its non-performance will haunt us all through this year!

Tashan Moview Preview

Character Sketches:

Bachchan Pande (Akshay Kumar)

NAME: Bachchan Pande

AGE: 30 as per police records, 25 as per Chachi, 26 as per Omprakash, I think 28

MARITAL STATUS: Don’t understand question

QUALIFICATIONS: Can steal electricity anywhere, Can break all bones of body with guarantee

WORK EXPERIENCE: Fully experienced

ACHIEVEMENTS: Recovered everything from a cow to a bungalow

AIM: Become killer

Jimmy (Saif Ali Khan)

NAME: Jimmy Cliff (Jeetender Kumar Makhwana P.S. Keep it confidential)

AGE: Depends on the age of the girl across the table

MARITAL STATUS: Not interested but always available

QUALIFICATIONS: Qualified enough to fix any girl in record time and ya of course, graduate

WORK EXPERIENCE: In the past two years working in a call center and coaching English

ACHIEVEMENTS: Highest number of girlfriends from class 5 to graduation

HOBBIES: Can’t you guess

AIM: To stay alive

Pooja (Kareena Kapoor)

NAME: Pooja Singh

AGE: What is it got to do with you

MARITAL STATUS: Hot and single

QUALIFICATIONS: 34-22-34

WORK EXPERIENCE: More than you think

ACHIEVEMENTS: Still to achieve my main goal

AIM: To fool everyone

Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor)

NAME: Lakhan Singh urf Bhaiyyaji

AGE: Remember not but young at heart

MARITAL STATUS: Bachelor since baby, will marriage soon

QUALIFICATIONS: MMS from King Kong University, JKL in Botany from Bing Bong University, BBMS from Kaun Sa Desh, Currently getting made English Honours marksheet, also Three more degrees getting made in progress

WORK EXPERIENCE: Bhaiyyaji self made man, Pulled rickshaw and now pulling Money from all over India

ACHIEVEMENTS: Gunning and Robbing

HOBBIES: Wearing foreign costume, English speaking 24 hours

AIM: To speak English like George Bush.

Synopsis:

What happens when you throw two guys who hate each other together…

A cool call center executive Jimmy Cliff (Saif Ali Khan), a desi wannabe gangster Bachchan Pande (Akshay Kumar) add for good measure a beautiful girl Pooja (Kareena Kapoor) who can’t be trusted… on a journey across spectacular India… a journey which will alter the course of their lives in more ways than one… a journey where even enemies need to trust each other if they want to be alive…

Trouble is, in this world no one can be trusted ever!

And to top it all there is the evil eye of Bhaiyyaji (Anil Kapoor)… a maverick gangster who enjoys killing people as much as he enjoys speaking English…

What you get is… TASHAN